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Bleak Moments

by Dancing Plague

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1.
Meantime 04:06
I want to glean our love from everything That you said to me when we were dying in that dream I’ll never see you in life, you only exist in these scenes how haunting they seem to be Your ghost dances its limbs around me as I act out my part My hands want to be dead with them and let the flesh fall off and into the sea I’ve been having vivid dreams of some ex-lover who’s voice I can’t recall, who’s love I cannot place I’ve been crying a lot lately And it occured to me that I don’t know why I’m just so fucking sad all the time I know you wanted me to die Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t oblige Just know the feeling was mutual
2.
Bleeding 04:27
Now that we’ve met, Can’t you see that we don’t work? Why do you think we’ve done this to ourselves? I have to get out of this apartment soon I can’t breath the same air as you anymore The toxicity is killing me I must leave this place behind me forever But first, I have to tell you... I almost spent a lifetime Bleeding with you I almost cried my life away Bleeding with you There’s only so much that I can take Bleeding with you I just couldn’t spend another night Bleeding with you I almost cried my life away
3.
With Abandon 05:35
I’ve been dead for more years than I can count And you say there’s no use in living anyhow I could live centuries away And you’d still find me Circling the same drain I never wanted life I never wanted time I only ever want to see your face Smiling in the light So happy all the time And maybe you will learn from my mistakes You’ve been holding grudges for an age But I wish that I could see you anyway My mind was always centuries away I never saw you lying there, half-dead on the duvet You never needed love You never asked for much You only needed me to get you through the day Holding up the light So happy all the time But you knew I could never be that way Maybe we can change it Turn sorrow into life But you’re the one that’s fading Slowly from my eyes Maybe we can save it Take the sorrow out of life But you’re the one that’s changing And our love may not last the night
4.
I remember things It’s more than just void darkness unconsciousness There are images, patterns, things to recollect It’s not just the long sleep that comes when the fear has left The cold is felt, the slipping away of feeling is noted and then succumbed to The mind functions, But there is a sense of time even so And I remember things I remember the way it was in the beginning But now I think of these things Now they come to mind Now in the darkness In the cold the solitude The stillness The loneliness Now there comes a feeling of warmth Where are you now across the void Through the millions of miles of cold empty space Through the vastness of a naked desert of sky and stars I love you
5.
Don’t clean the wound too soon I like the taste of blood on my skin, it feels real Don’t leave the room too soon I like the taste of nights eaten up by your cruel words Don’t get too close I cannot feel I cannot see the love that you give Even when it touches me Don’t turn back just yet I like the feel of you judging eyes digging into me Don’t leave the room too soon There’s only so much pain to endure in one night Don’t look to me I cannot love I have no sense of self When alone in the dark There is no more life inside Running for my life From secrets and lies
6.
It’s in a light reflected off a picture of our life Take it away I don’t want to see what I’ve failed to become Take it away I missed your birthday again How do you know I’m the one you want to love in the end? Take me to the east coast So I can be unhappy all over again Kill me on the west coast There is not a shred of love in my skin I missed your birthday again Can you be sure this is all you’ve ever dreamed of come to an end Take it away Take me to the east coast So I can be unhappy all over again Kill me on the west coast There is not a shred of love in my skin I missed your birthday again I despise everything I ever was and am Take it away
7.
We lived for pleasure and pain A hundred years in our desiccated waste And we put our dead Into the earth And turned them into trees We carry on and linger in the sun In love and then not so much We labor long Till our turn comes To be beckoned to the dirt And we go on The bloody sun sits high amongst the trees We cower in our filth and wait for thee But you’ll never come And we’ll die alone And you’ll laugh against the wind All light dimming into none The moon, a pale replica of the sun Shines high amid Our rotting night Just laughing into the darkness As we dance around our dead It’s laughing
8.
Another Year 07:56
It’s no use now, the lengths I’d have to go Just to tell you why I have to let you go There’s nothing you have that I could want Who made you so sad that you can’t love? With a tongue like that no one could tell you no I’ve nothing to add, I only wish to go There’s nowhere to die in peace So I’ll stay right here I only want the best for you I feel so ashamed It wasn’t your fault, I take all the blame Another year gone, another year away from you Without you alive, I’ll do all I can do Did you feel sad when your father said to you “Someday you will die?” But we’re older now Gets harder finding things to laugh about And if the twilight takes you I hope I follow soon
9.
10.
You can run from sorrow but sorrow will find you in the end There is no tomorrow when all we love is dead There is more grief in these walls than one can bare You can take it with you when you leave Meet me on the old road where our love never died We can find each other in the pit where our bodies lie I was holding you in the dreams you took from me And everything we knew wasn’t even ours to believe I never wish to taste again the hours we have lost Endless hours spent talking circles around ourselves But still we carried on, a waking nightmare, through the fall Digging through the muck to find nothing, nothing much at all You can run from sorrow but sorrow will find you I’ve been dreaming of all the places That I have ever been, I can’t misplace it I’ve been screaming for you to face it There’s so much to lose if you can’t take it I’ve been dreaming of all the faces Of everyone I’ve ever loved, I can’t erase it What was it you said to me Before you fell into that room Where all of our hopes have died I wasn’t listening Maybe you said, “I love you” Or maybe you just cried Whatever it was, I hope you found your peace Somewhere out there in the night and maybe you’ll hear me Screaming your name

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released July 2, 2021

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Dancing Plague Portland, Oregon

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